he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize