Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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