You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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