This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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