im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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