You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
