no. you can't hotbox the world.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
