Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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