You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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