she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
