she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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