bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize