There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize