just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
