as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
