So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
