3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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