Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
