so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize