I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
