the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
