Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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