Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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