New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize