he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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