This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
