Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
