so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
