I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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