with your own penis?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
