super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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