White coat. Heels.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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