Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
