He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
