I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
