just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
