U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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