This is not my ceiling
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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