You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
