It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
