i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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