dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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