You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Randomize
