My liver just broke up with me...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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