its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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