my sisters under your porch take her home
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
