i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
