splinters make it hard to masturbate
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
