singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
