sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
