When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
