Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I believe in your delicious
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
