Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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