I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
