I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
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Do I have a choice?
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He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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