I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
