The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize