idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
