yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am naked and annoyed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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