Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
