Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
