You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
