At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize