first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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