How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
